I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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