my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
