Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize