I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
