I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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