Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
