My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
you had me at cake vodka
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
