dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
