I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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