she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
