She just used a chaser for red wine.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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