you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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