Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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