is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You dont lie about slip and slides
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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