Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
