Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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