i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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