I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
