my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
accomplished twins. life is a go
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
