$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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