oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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