Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Girls should come with a carfax report
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
