Duck Duck Cougar?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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