She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
