Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
