isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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