its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
