i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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