Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
