This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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