I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
