FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
