i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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