i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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