Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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