Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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