I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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