WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
