Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
