I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
