Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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