yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
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I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
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I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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