When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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