I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
