This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
