Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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