I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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