I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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