I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
as a side note pls kill me
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
