Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
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