Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
