Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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