She said her name was "party"
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
