I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
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This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
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I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You left your phone here
Wait...
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