and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
