After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
